“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.” (Dan Rather)
We love to drive, don’t we? We just get in our cars and go calmly from Point A to Point B with no worries or cares in the world. (Said no one ever!) It’s amazing the multi-tasking that goes on while driving. Frankly, multi-tasking and driving should never be in the same sentence. That’s a scary proposition. And, we can’t blame all of it on the teenagers; although we try really hard to, don’t we?
There seem to be several broad categories of extras that happen when driving. Let’s see where this road leads, shall we?
Many a person has been spotted applying make-up while driving. Running a wee bit late, are we? Well, we’ll just drive and put on mascara at the same time. Yikes, if you hit a speed bump! And for goodness sakes, don’t curl your lashes unless you were planning to trim them out by half for a new look. I’d be more likely to look like Clown College 101 was my next stop.
Painting your fingernails (I’m specifying ‘cause I can’t imagine trying to paint toenails, but I bet someone, somewhere has tried). It’s all well and good as long as you don’t have to push any buttons or grip the steering wheel tightly.
Changing clothes while driving. Really! Apparently, this is not as uncommon as one might imagine. (One dedicated mom was even spotted changing a diaper for her child in the passenger seat.) Come on, people. Pull over; you’ll get done much faster and it’s safer for the rest of us.
Putting your hair up in rollers and steering the car with your knees or elbows. Well, I guess you are going somewhere after all.
Okay, men, it’s your turn. Yes, men have been spotted shaving with electric razors driving down the road. And, at some point, a gentleman was seen shaving using his shaving cream and razor. Not to be redundant, but how smooth are your roads? Speed bumps and potholes, they’re out there. Maybe your car doesn’t find them as well as mine does.
Fueling Up (You, Not Your Car)
Eating while driving is something I suppose we’ve all done. About 50 percent of the American population confesses to eating and driving. I well remember driving a car full of kids while eating frozen yogurt. Chocolate yogurt. White pants. Not a pretty picture.
Driving while eating a bowl of soup is an art (not for me of course – see above yogurt debacle). I can’t even drink a cup of coffee and drive; every time I try, I end up wearing half the cup. For those who know me, you know how I hate to waste coffee.
Reading while driving is quite common. I’m getting motion sick at the mere thought, but lots of folks do it. Studying on a laptop (in your lap) is not a good use of time. Although I must confess to calling out spelling words on test day more than once.
Perusing the newspaper on the way to work? Wait until you have a hot cup of coffee in hand in your office; then scan the paper.
Watching a show while driving is not for the driver, it’s to keep the kids quiet in the back.
Singing – now that’s the ticket. Especially if you’re alone in your car and you don’t care if the world watches you belt out your favorite song.
Keep it between the lines, people, and get where you’re going – drive safe.