Conversation with Your BFF: How Do You Know When You Need to Break Up?



I have no idea how many times, or how many relationships, I have ‘patched’ up. After you have an argument about who does more at home, disagree over where to go for a holiday, or just realize your partner isn’t giving their all, you give it another shot and then another shot. We all overlook times that our partner lets us down and set it aside and move on until the next time it happens. But how many times do you patch things up before you realize it may be time to break up? I am so glad you asked! There are specific times that signal you may want to move on…

When Forgiving and Forgetting Isn’t in the Cards

We all have those lines that, when crossed, can’t be ignored. A behavior or a choice your partner made that can’t be forgiven or forgotten; it’s a complete deal breaker for you, and the only reason you haven’t ended the relationship yet is because you have so much history together, because you’re testing to see if you could potentially move past the issue and make things work. But if your trust has been breached, and you can’t imagine ever rebuilding the trust once there, then this is much more than a rough patch…it’s a reason to break up.

When You’ve Grown into Different People, Wanting Different Things in Life

As time passes, we all grow into new versions of ourselves. It can take a little while to adjust to each other’s differences…getting used to the new yous. However, if you want completely different things now, if you see your future differently now, if you’re simply incompatible now, then this is probably not to be labeled ‘a rough patch.’ It doesn’t necessarily mean that you stop caring about each other; it simply means you’ve started to grow in different directions and are going to do better going it alone.

When You’ve Gone Down This Road One Too Many Times

If you have the same argument over and over about the same thing, with no resolution, there is an issue. You either need to fix whatever is wrong so you never have to repeat the same fight again, or you need to come to terms with the fact you’re never going to fix it and walk away. Easier said than done if you have time invested in the relationship. If you don’t choose to fix it or walk away, it may blow over in the short-term, but know that you will live to fight over this issue another day.

When You’re Past the Point of Annoyance and Hate the Sound When They Breathe

We all have our quirks, those little idiosyncrasies that make us who we are. It’s those differences that can help you fall in love with a person, but if your relationship is nearing its end, those quirks may start driving you crazy. You may leave conversations with your partner feeling exhausted and just wanting time apart. But if that time apart evolves into you just hate the sound they make when they breathe, it may be time to say goodbye.

When Your Energy Is Depleted and You Don’t Want to Fix Your Issues

Hitting the wall and not wanting to communicate with your partner or wanting to explain to them your perspective is a sign you are losing interest in the relationship. If you are still passionate and have a fire to talk things over, there’s something left, but if you really don’t want to put in the effort, it’s a good time to leave.

When You’ve Felt This Way for a Long, Long Time

After a time in a relationship, you may not have the butterflies you once had when your love was new. Rough patches come and include frustration, boredom, and confusion, but if you’re honest with yourself and you’ve been questioning your relationship for a long time, then you probably need a fresh start. Putting off the inevitable only makes the inevitable harder and wastes time.


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