BY REBECCA COOPER
As women, we’ve all been there. We are in a romantic relationship that isn’t what we deserve. Things are perhaps stagnant, or you’re just not valued. It’s in those times you can choose to go along and stay where you are, or you can make a change and remember that you deserve more. You shouldn’t stay one second longer in a situation that you know in your heart isn’t right, but you are too scared to walk away. Or you may be scared of being alone, or messing up something good. You may ask yourself, ‘Isn’t something better than nothing?’ I’m so glad you asked that question…
If you set aside all the thoughts that are causing you to second guess what your gut is telling you, seeing that there is more out there for you will be easier.
First, you have to realize that the longer you keep accepting what doesn’t work and making excuses for a grown man, the longer you’re going to keep being left unsatisfied. He’s grown and besides, even if he isn’t, it’s not your job to raise a man (unless you actually gave birth to him).
Second, it’s not your job to prove to him you’re the one, or to take so much garbage from him that you think you might choke on it. This is the time for you to realize, this is about you moving on….way on! Prepare yourself for the second guessing to begin…
Right now, somewhere in your heart, you’re thinking that you don’t really deserve what you are experiencing in your relationship and you’re sick of hoping one day he’ll wake up and realize what it is he had, or rather what kind of a woman you really are. It’s true that everyone changes, but that change has to be his choice. He’s not going to change because you want him to, or because you let him walk all over you and your heart. I learned the hard way that there is a difference between helping a man and helping a man so he doesn’t have to help himself. When you are at this point, there’s nothing left to do but move on.
The key here, in case you haven’t figured it out, is MOVE! He may not be a jerk, or a lost cause, and you still may love him, but he needs to learn things himself. Think back to the way you fiercely chose him and choose yourself with that same fierceness. Choose your happiness and do it with as much love and conviction as you would want from a man in your life.
Someone once said, ‘There’s no better time than now to live your best life.’ Whatever living your best life means, do it! Buy that plane ticket and go on vacation, get your nails done in a color he didn’t like, go to your favorite restaurant that he never took you to…just do you!
Above everything, remember that moving on isn’t about getting into the arms of another man. However, it is about you realizing that as long as you’re still looking at the absence of a relationship as a lack in your life, you’ll only attract people to fill in the holes. Take time to relax with friends and remember that while your man may have lost out on you, you don’t have to lose out on your life from this point forward.
From me, your BFF, remember who you really are and enjoy life because when I look at you, I see a woman too fabulous to ever let any one man ruin you or your life. You deserve better than you had, and better is ahead and begins with loving yourself.