Crazy Perfect Life: Getting Through the Holiday Season When You’ve Lost a Loved One



BY DARA KURTZ

 

The holiday season is often described as the most wonderful time of the year. However, for people who are missing a loved one, the holiday season can be a particularly difficult time of the year.

I remember the first holiday I faced without my mom. It was Thanksgiving. My first Thanksgiving without my mom was also my first Thanksgiving being a mom. It was a strange twist of fate that had me confused and bewildered. I was in unchartered waters, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

I didn’t want to deal with it.

I was sad and devastated at my loss and thrilled and elated at my gain. I did the best I could with the hand I was dealt. That’s really all any of us can do.

I remember so vividly how hard that first holiday season was, and all of the first holidays that came after it. One dreaded occasion after another. Each holiday brought reminders of years past and of what would never be again. We had to begin new traditions and make new memories. Trying to figure out how to do this, and hold on to the past at the same time, wasn’t easy.

I feel for people who are facing this now.

If you’ve lost a loved one, I know it is especially difficult during this time of the year. The holiday season makes us miss our childhood, yearn for what used to be and feel a little melancholy.

If you’re facing this now, surround yourself with people who love and care about you and go easy on yourself. Don’t judge yourself for feeling “blue” or being sad, and give yourself time and space to adjust. It will get better, I promise.

Time really does help. You learn to live with your loss and eventually, make peace with it.

But, I know it’s not easy.

If you know someone who is going through this, reach out to that person. Show you care. Open your heart and your home and help them get through this holiday season. Every day they live without their loved one is hard, but a holiday season is an especially difficult time.

Follow Dara at crazyperfectlife.com.


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