You know that song that goes, “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down”?
Sometimes I feel like that’s the anthem we all need more of in our lives.
Let’s be honest. Failing is hard. Whether in our personal or professional life, no matter how many times we encounter the experience, it doesn’t seem to feel any less like getting knocked down.
I’ve learned over my nearly thirty years on this planet that we tend to look at failures through the lens of what others think. Therefore, when we’re deeming something a “failure,” we’re adding feelings of shame and embarrassment which, in turn, sends the scale of our self-worth on a swan dive. Hence, the knocked down feeling.
What we have to try to remember, is that no one is out there creating a detailed list of their failures to add to their resume. You won’t scroll through social media anytime soon to see monumental screw-ups and failures of your friends being showcased among the highlight reels of their lives.
At the end of the day, failure is inevitable. Imagine what would happen if we stopped hiding behind our failures and, instead, learned to embrace them?
When you fail, show yourself grace.
If you have ever taken part in a game of Chutes & Ladders or Candyland with a child or two, you may recall dealing with the unavoidable winning and losing at the end. What starts out as a simple game of fun can end in a lesson about taking a loss. I can still recall crying at the end of a game when I was little and my dad talking to me about not being a sore loser and winning gracefully. As adults, I think this lesson is still a difficult one to grasp. While we teach our children how to fail gracefully, we have to, in turn, show ourselves grace when we fail in life. Not every failure should be a blow to our self-worth! If you fail, that means you tried in the first place. Show yourself grace in those difficult moments and remind yourself that sometimes the win is in the experience.
Every failure is a lesson. Learn from them.
My husband often recites this quote to me when I question my own failures: “There is no losing, there is just winning and learning.” Every time we fail at something, there really is a lesson. In my experience as a small business owner, I’ve learned more lessons of what not to do than anything else! When we identify our failures, no matter the level they may seem, we walk away with lessons. The hard part is actually learning from those lessons and moving forward better off and more prepared. Next time you encounter something that feels like failing, take inventory! Really dive into the situation and see what worked and what didn’t, and how you can learn from it and move on.
If you’re going to fail, fail spectacularly.
There are few things the world loves more than a great comeback story! Think about it. How many professional athletes, CEOs, celebrities, and other public figures can you think of who, after what seemed like their darkest hour, came back with a Bang? Never let the fear of failure cripple you from the life you want to pursue! Wouldn’t you rather know that you went for what you wanted most and failed, than always question what could have been? You can find hundreds of quotes about regret, but the one that always stuck with me is from Lewis Carrol: “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.” Embrace the failures in your life and what you can learn from them and absorb that growth. We put our heart and soul into so much of what we do as women, that the reality that we will fail should never be greater than the reality that we will also succeed!