Oh, ladies! I can’t wait to tell you my latest revelations about being Fabulous at Fifty-ish!! Last week my daughter, her friends, and I went to a karaoke bar. Many of you know that my husband is overseas, and my 25-year-old daughter decided that it was high time Mom went out. We had a wonderful night. She sang, and I watched as my little girl shined. While I was enjoying every minute, I couldn’t help but people watch. The conclusion? It is so GREAT to be in my 50s and no longer in my 20s. It’s just so liberating!
Earlier that evening, when I finally decided to join them I had only 30 minutes to get ready. Having a half hour to get ready is not a problem for women in our 50s. I was ready in a wink, while our 20 something’s needed a few hours. We are more confident, and we know what looks good on us. We no longer need to convene a committee for a fashion consensus. Really, what takes us longer – getting ready or finding our keys? Finding our keys, of course. Sharing the mirror with a woman in her 50s is great, too! Lipstick, mascara and hair brush – done. Then the mirror is all yours for the night. How delightful it is to be aware of what works for us.
Women who are confident at 50-ish also lack the self-consciousness that women in their 20s practically ooze in a night club setting. That night I watched several women in their 20s go to the ladies room, in pairs, repeatedly. Each time they emerged their make-up was freshened, hair brushed and each time they scanned the crowd to see who was watching. I went to the ladies room once, alone, and didn’t look around to see who was watching. I didn’t care.
While I sat pondering my well-earned smugness, a very handsome 20 something-year-old man sat beside me. Initially a friend of my daughter’s, he has become a close friend of the family. It wasn’t long before I noticed the nasty looks I was getting from the 20 something-year-old women in the bar. We shared a laugh about that. He’s a dear friend and, of course I am married, so I felt very comfortable joking about their perception that I might be a “cougar.”
He wasn’t laughing anymore. When he said “I’ve dated cougars before” I almost choked on my sparkling water. So naturally I decided to interview him for this article. I asked him “Why (in the world!) would a man in his 20s be attracted to an older woman?!?” Here’s what he said:
1.) Older women are beautiful. They look younger than ever. They take care themselves. And isn’t 50 the new 30?
2.) They are more confident, which makes them easier to be with and more enjoyable to date.
3.) They are intelligent, they have established careers and goals.
4.) They are more interesting, they have done more and, read more.
5.) Dating them is easier; older women prefer reliability in the men they go out with over frequency. Younger women define their relationship by the frequency of time they spend together. That kind of frequency is not always possible and can put an unnecessary burden on a relationship.
6.) Older women know what they want and are not afraid to ask. Younger women don’t always know what they want, and they think you should.
7.) These relationships are uncomplicated, fun, and no one ever talks about their “biological clock” ticking.
“But older women don’t look like women in their 20s, how is that as attractive to you?”
I couldn’t help it, ladies, I had to ask. His answer is priceless, and I’ll leave you with this:
“Of course, I have to find them attractive, but there’s more than looks that makes a woman attractive. I am ‘sapiosexual,’ which means one who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.” Let that be a lesson to us all!