When I married my husband in 2011, I made all the traditional promises… for better, for worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part. However, despite using the traditional wedding vows, my marriage vows could have also included:
- Listening to music all the time. Literally.
- Listening to a pendulum swing of genres – from Ozzy Osborne to Kenny Rogers within five minutes.
- Heavy lifting.
- Very late nights.
Why? Because I married a drummer. I joke around that being married to a musician is also signing up as an unpaid roadie. I can pack and unpack drums with the best of them, though my husband cringes if I ever try to actually play the drums.
As much as I occasionally complain about loading and unloading heavy drum equipment, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m very proud of my husband’s talent. I’ve learned quite a bit by being married to a musician over the years…not only from him, but from his musician friends that I’ve spent time with…
- Never (ever) try to argue with a musician about what constitutes “good music.” They are very emphatic about what is and what is not “good music.”
- Musicians never have only one favorite artist. Or one favorite song. Or one favorite genre.
- A true musician rarely plays for the money – getting paid is gravy. Sure, they all want to make money at their craft, but for most musicians I know, it’s about the simple joy of playing.
- A drummer cannot have enough drums (mine has two sets) and a guitar player can never have enough guitars.
- Musicians are experts at telepathic communication. I love watching my husband interact with his band mates (and have gotten in the habit of watching other bands to see if they have the same kind of synergy). The silent communication that is done on stage, through eye contact, smiles, and nods of the head, are pretty impressive.
- They are also masters at teamwork. When you have multiple instruments playing to complement one another, you know there is a strong demonstration of teamwork being played out in front of you (pun intended).
- Most musicians have a great, self-deprecating humor about themselves… My husband is the first to tell the standard drummer joke, “How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?” (Answer: Pay for the pizza.)
- Most of them talk in movie lines – specifically, “This is Spinal Tap.” This one goes to 11! If you want to spend time with musicians, it will serve you well to be familiar with that movie!
I love being married to the music! Next time you have an opportunity to see local musicians, be sure to show your support! The talent and camaraderie on stage is the culmination of years of learning respective instruments and hours of practicing the songs they play – over and over and over again!