BY AMY HILL
Having been single for over five years, I’ve spent many hopeful Saturday nights getting all dressed up to sit at the bar and wait for Prince Charming. While I’ve never met “the one” at a bar, I have met many other suitors. Here are five types of men a single woman is likely to meet during a night out on the town (any town).
The Unattainable Bartender
He’s charismatic behind the bar, a little jaded, and has a dark sense of humor. You’re convinced he is flirting with you by the way he stares into your eyes as he asks if you want to open up a bar tab. You sit at the bar all night, hoping he finally asks you for your phone number. When it’s time to pay your tab, and he doesn’t write his name and number on the receipt, you’re discouraged. The sad reality is that his game is working – you’ll be back to spend money next weekend (and the weekend after that) in hopes that he’ll finally ask you out.
You’re sipping your vodka soda when a seemingly harmless man sits down a couple of seats away from you. He strikes up a casual conversation after a few minutes, and you two begin discussing what you do for a living. You just graduated with a master’s degree in finance? How convenient! There’s a financial analyst position open at his company, and he just so happens to be good friends with the hiring manager. You add each other on LinkedIn, and he tells you that he will talk to the hiring manager soon. A few days later, he sends you a message and says they’re looking to hire someone with a bit more experience, but he’d love to take you out to dinner sometime.
The Local Celebrity
He walks into the bar and immediately greets everyone in the room. In reality, it’s a facade and he doesn’t actually know everyone in the room, but you don’t know that yet. He sits by you and greets the bartender by name. Soon, he starts name-dropping and talking about all the “connections” he has throughout the area, and you quickly realize that he has an ego the size of Texas. He offers to buy you a drink, but you kindly decline because you don’t want to have to listen to more of his boasting. Your gracious declination falls on deaf ears, however, and he insists on wasting more of your time and energy as you plot your escape to the bathroom. Once he starts catching on that his attempts at wooing you are falling flat, he plays it cool and says, “I’m not hitting on you. I just thought I’d come talk to you because you looked sad all by yourself.”
The Traveling Salesman
Most commonly found in hotel lobby bars, the traveling salesman is a bit older and sits at the bar drinking scotch after scotch while intermittently making “important” phone calls. You make the mistake of sitting a few seats down from him and merely existing, and you can sense that he’s about to make his move. He tells you he’s an attorney from New York, and you feign interest because you don’t want to be unfriendly. He asks you why a beautiful woman like yourself is alone at the bar and offers unsolicited advice on how to find a man. Ironically enough, he and his wife are going through “problems.” After telling the bartender to transfer all of your drinks to his tab, he asks if you’d be interested in meeting up with him the following night because he leaves soon. You tell him that you’re busy with work, but you’re really just not in the mood to destroy a family anytime soon.
The Man of Your Dreams
He’s dressed in a nice button-down shirt and fitted jeans, wears a subtle cologne, and appears to have a soul. He approaches you in an assertive manner and the conversation flows instantly. He’s single, has a great accounting job, and loves to take hikes on the weekend. He even loves cats (or at least tolerates them). He asks if you’d like to go out for Mexican food next Saturday and even offers to pick you up at your apartment. The search is over. You’ve finally found the love of your life – until you hear your alarm clock and realize that you have to wake up for work.