The Pain of Losing a Friend



 

We used to do everything together, waiting impatiently for Friday night to rush home and change into our pajamas. We’d meet at my house and order bad take-out, drink way too much wine, and watch reality TV mixed with vampire shows – it was our thing. You’d be so patient as my daughter would ask you to read her stories and play with her dolls and you gladly did it – all with a smile on your face.

We’d gossip, sleep, eat way too much chocolate and there was nothing we didn’t share with each other. We were best friends. Thick as thieves. And I thought nothing could tear us apart. I had waited a long time for a friend like you. Someone who understood the complexities of my life and was willing to see beyond it. Who knew my family wasn’t perfect but was willing to see beyond that in order to help me better myself.

You helped me realize my worth.

Then life got in the way. Our job that once had us working together had me moving on to a larger university. Our Friday nights turned into ‘once in a whiles,’ cramming in small talk when we could, and scheduling phone calls like we were business partners instead of friends. Slowly our friendship began to unravel, piece by piece.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss those Friday nights. Those conversations and you always being there for me. You gave the advice I didn’t want to hear and the encouragement to pursue bigger and better things. To not remain stagnant and complacent when I had so much to offer.

I thank you for that.

Now, we are distant strangers. Exchanging fewer and fewer messages and I can’t remember the last time we spoke on the phone, but that’s okay because I hold onto the memories and cherish every one of them. Just like I cherish our friendship.

I moved away. Pursuing those lofty dreams that you stuck in my head and urged me to go after. I’ve found the love you knew I would and you – you’ve done amazing things, too.

Everything you ever wanted for yourself, it’s coming true. I wish I could be there – celebrating each thing with you, but for now, know that I am proud of you. Happy for you.

While we’ve both accomplished so much, our friendship has drifted over the years. I can’t just pick up and head to your house like I used to. Or pick up the phone and talk for hours, but I am and will always be your biggest fan. Cheering you on every step of the way. Every accomplishment, every milestone. And when something doesn’t go right or you need someone to talk you off that ledge, I am here. I always will be. Because the pain of losing a friend forever is simply too much to bear. Our friendship will never disappear. It may look and feel different, but a bond like we share will never falter.

You are my soul sister. Always remember that.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Comments