Things That Make You Blush: Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

Romance is fun to find any time of the year, but especially in the summer time. Many vacationers travel to the beach to get away from job stress, everyday routines, and the too familiar scenery of home. Some lucky female beach-goers (maybe you) may even find love at the shore, intentionally or by accident. Mr. Summer Hunk chatted you up at a local beach hot spot and before you know it, you are infatuated with your vacation dream lover. He dances like a Latin lover, body surfs, makes enjoyable conversation, and kisses you like you always imagined Ryan Reynolds would. Against your better judgment and conservative standards, you fall hard for this guy and sleep with him on the third date. You’re hooked on a guy with big things to offer, including his smile. Where has he been all of your life? Certainly not back home in Forsyth County. But a week of romance with Mr. Hunk is soon over, leaving you with only a few choices on how to handle your newfound love.    

Option One is to return home and forget about your summer romance. Period. You at least have some great stories to share on Girls’ Night Out. Option Two requires you to make a go of a long distance committed relationship with Mr. Hunk. A few women may try to occasionally hook up with Mr. Hunk sometime down the road, whenever they happen to be nearby, but continue to date other men. This Option Three is fairly rare – most women who desire a meaningful relationship might try Option Two and see if long distance romance can grow into a long-lasting love.  

Women who choose Option Two have hope that the odds of a long distance relationship are in their favor if they just try hard enough and love strongly enough. Mr. Hunk lives just close enough to keep hope alive (Atlanta, Raleigh, Greenville, Charleston, etc.) and he indicates that he is interested in continuing a relationship, too. Hope helps women try to work through the obvious challenges of long distance relationships if they choose to make them work:

  • Travel time to/from his hometown, which limits time together
  • Using vacation time to extend your weekends together
  • Expense of traveling
  • Maybe children are involved from a previous relationship that limits the weekends you can visit and your time together
  • Always being a “visitor” at his place (or vice versa for him)

But what about the “not so obvious” challenges that are unknown after only a week together at the beach?

  • Maybe he drinks more than what you observed
  • He only cleans his place every eight weeks right before you visit
  • Maybe he has behaviors that conflict with yours (drugs, smoking, cursing)
  • He has other girlfriends or is still waiting on the ink to dry on his divorce papers

Dating long-distance makes it difficult to know the day to day habits and behaviors of a partner, but some aspects of dating at a distance are positive. The anticipation of being together after a long absence makes for a passionate reunion. Making the most of every minute together is a priority and makes for an exciting and adventurous visit. It is difficult to take someone for granted that you only see every month or so. Emotions are more intense, and every visit feels like a first date. These reunions may be worth the wait, the expense, and the misery of missing each other between visits. In these cases, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Love is one choice made after another. Do you want the daily contact and interaction with a boyfriend close by, or do you go with the hope of a long distance relationship lasting a life time? Either choice can be the correct one for you if you enter a relationship with the right reasons and the right person.   And for you, country music fans, the # 1 country song this summer is by Dierks Bentley, called “Somewhere on a Beach.”   You just never know what might happen at the beach.