Ever Google the phrase “first date mistakes”? If you do, you’ll hit the mother-load of dating advice, starting with five first date mistakes and progressing to articles declaring as many as 27 first date mistakes. Anyone making 27 first date mistakes might not ever get to a second date. Then again, sometimes all it takes is one first date mistake to ensure that a second date never happens. Some of these advice columns are written by men and some by women, though most seem to emphasize mistakes made by men (no shock there). Since most of our readers are female, this article will emphasize common, date-killing mistakes made by women. First and foremost, look at a first date as entertainment as opposed to interviewing a man as a future husband. Keep that in mind and relax a little. Everyone makes mistakes.
Some simple, easy-to-fix snafus include leaving your phone in the car. This prevents a first time dater from constantly checking it for messages, leaving your date feeling unimportant and not worthy of your full attention. You may have turned Mr. Right into Mr. Nobody. Another big problem is being late. Most men get really irritated with women being late and again, feel unimportant when their date does not plan ahead in order to be prompt for the date. And while you may be in the habit of having an afternoon drink (or two) when you get home from work, this is not the best idea on your first date evening (maybe that is why some women are late). If you agreed to join someone on a first date, you should be all about him during the date. If you see friends, say hello, but don’t hang out with them and ignore your date. Do ignore the TV or the phone. If the service is bad, be patient and overlook it; it’s not your date’s fault. And whatever you do, remember your drinking tolerance and avoid getting too tipsy. Being tipsy leads to communication that sometimes should not take place.
Speaking of communication, several date killers involve topics that should be avoided and questions that should not be asked, even on a tenth date, or until you get to know your date a little better. Here are some examples of first date questions to avoid even if you have made it to dessert (these could apply to either gender):
- Why don’t you look like your picture on Match.com?
- How many people have you been intimate with?
- Have you ever had a threesome?
- Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Did you break up with your ex or did they break up with you?
- Is that the kitchen I smell or did you pass gas?
- How much money do you make?
- Do you enjoy recreational drugs?
- How old are you really?
- How do you feel about sex before marriage?
Don’t let this list scare you. It’s better to talk about something that is mutually interesting than to sit in silence, afraid to make a mistake. Safe topics could include work, hobbies, travel, hometown facts, sports, pets, friends, community service, movies and latest books read. The short list of dangerous topics includes health ailments, religion, politics, ex-partners, or any subject that results in you bragging excessively about whoever or whatever you think is over the moon. Leave the grandkids for dates down the road.
You will make less first date mistakes if you view that date with someone new as a fun night of entertainment. It can be an adventure and should not be a job interview (as if you were filling the job position of spouse). Be yourself and chew with your mouth closed!