There I was, plunked down in the driver’s seat, waiting for the short text that would tell me it was my turn to be seen. Why hadn’t I thought this through? It was going on two-and-a-half hours at this point, and I had made two completely avoidable errors: first, I didn’t swing by the Starbucks to break in that new gift card by fueling up. Second, I left ALL of my reading material at home. This is precisely why I rarely clean out my car. Gone was the hand lotion, the three magazines, the book I’m devouring for Book Club. Sure, I had my cell phone, but the battery was low and, let’s be honest, it’s just not the same.
I resorted to walking around the parking lot, dodging the debris and a cluttered landscape of discarded face masks. Bored and annoyed, I grew restless. Let’s get the show on the road already! I thought. The little pesky voice in my head spoke without being prompted:
Of course, you do know that it is your impatience that landed you here in the first place.
I know! But do you have to keep reminding me? I told you: I KNOW.
You may know, but you haven’t learned.
A lot like Siri, she was ticking me off so I shut her down, then grabbed my dying phone to distract me. Once I settled down, I thought about what she said. It was undeniable: she was 100% right. I reached my hands out in front of me as the indisputable confirmation of her wisdom. My left hand – wounded a few months back – had never really healed. No matter, I compensated with my right and carried on. But when I nearly crushed the middle finger on my right, dominant hand in trying to manually close the garage door, I was sunk. I mean, I cook, I clean, I garden, I do yoga, I mess around with Pilates and, let’s not forget, I write for a living. Okay, so instead do what? Use the microwave more and ignore the accumulating dust bunnies. But could I, really?
Hi, it’s me again.
C’mon, cut me some slack! I imagine you’re not here to offer a solution.
The solution is in your hands.
It is good to see that you are thinking of a workaround, but aren’t you missing something?
You’re right. I also need my hands to style my hair, put on my makeup…
All true, but you continue to miss the point.
What got you into this mess?
Well, the first time, with my left hand…
No, no, no, the mechanics of what happened are less important.
I am referring to the WHY behind this mess you’ve created.
Until you learn this lesson, you will continue to pay a price for your impatience.
Sometimes I hate her, I do. But she is my higher wisdom, and she is RIGHT: I may know that I need to slow down, but until I do, I will repeat my mistakes. As I get older, the price is steeper. Not to mention the recovery time!
What do you do with your lessons?
Are you listening to your inner wisdom, higher power, she-who-knows-better?
I hope so. And just so you know, you are not alone on this learning journey. I am right there with you, sister!